To the man in the park...

To the man in the park, you scared me today and I am sorry.

I’m sorry because you are probably a wonderful person, and I’m sorry my bias judged you. I’m sorry you have to live in a society where you are feared. I am sorry I live in a society that teaches me to fear you. I’m sorry there are bad people in the world that make this the all too common narrative.

To the man in the park today, I’m sorry I was scared of you, but please understand-
I wouldn’t of always been so fearful. As a child I was taught to fear strangers. I was taught if I got lost to find a mom who was with her kids and ask her for help. As I grew up I was taught not to go places alone , especially late at night. I was taught that I shouldn’t go on trail runs alone. I experienced the aggression some men have and I have watched some men speak and act harmfully. I have felt threatened and scared.

To the man in the park, instinctually threatened is the best way I can explain it to you. I felt frozen. What use to be intuition has morphed towards general fear of everyone which isn’t helpful to anyone. I didn’t like the way you walked off path, or carried a mysterious backpack. I didn’t like that you noticed me. I hated that you noticed that you scared me. You did nothing and yet I felt threatened. You said nothing and yet I felt fear. 
To the man in the park, I know you’ve probably experienced feelings I have not and I hope if given the chance I could be empathetic to your feelings. I hope you know I recognize that women can do bad things too. I recognize that men do good things. I recognize some of the people in my life that make me feel the safest are men. 
To the man in the park today, I hope you had a nice walk. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you did something wrong for just existing. I don’t want my future son to ever be feared or my daughter to feel fear, or viceversa. 
To the man in the park, I’ll still be scared of you if I see you tomorrow. I don’t know the answer. I can work on my bias. I can change the narrative with my children. I can admit moments where I was scared for seemingly no reason. But I want you to know there are reasons I feel the way I feel, and react the way I react